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"I'm 19 years old & well, I have a problem. I don't know what I want out of life or from guys. I'm jealous of my friend because she is dating my ex-boyfriend, but I was always ashamed about his appearance. Well, now I'm jealous cause he gives her a lot of attention as well as buys her flowers and other gifts. I want him back! Am I wrong for telling my friend to break up with him?" - Arlene, California Upon breaking up, you almost always fantasize about getting back together. Long nights spent alone can wreak havoc on anyone's psyche. So be forewarned: The urge to reconcile will be strong, but you must be stronger. After all, you did have a perfectly good reason for breaking up, right? If the temptation to be with your ex is too overwhelming, head straight for your daily planner and make an appointment to call the next day. Yes, actually write it down in permanent ink. This will allow you to rest easy for the time being. Chances are that come the new day, you'll be looking at your agenda and shaking your head in disgust. The more times you resist your selfish impulse to go crawling back, the better you'll get at spending time without him. Once you're not so desperate for the company and think more clearly, you'll finally be able to judge whether you did the right thing. Until then, you should rely on serious willpower if you don't what to hurt your friend and get into a vicious cycle of an on-again, off-again love affair.
"My boyfriend watches other girls and in return, it make me very upset and we always end up in a fight. I need advice in how to handle this situation. Thank you." - Jennie, Ohio Every now and then, we get a question about the dreaded "wandering eyes". Unfortunately, there is no easy way to solve this problem because there are several factors involved. You must ask yourself, is your boyfriend's eyes really wandering or are you reading to much into it. For instance... if you see a pretty female first, then wait until your boyfriend sees her, then complain as soon as he does, then the issue is with you, not him. You're lacking a sense of security or self-respect that only you can provide yourself with. On the other hand, if he looks over your shoulder or watches a particular females for more than 20 seconds as they pass by and turn the corner, then he has a problem. If your boyfriend does actually have wandering eyes, then you need to discuss how you feel about it. Do not try to discuss it when you have caught him in the act, but rather when he is in a good mood at dinner or maybe after a good movie. Let him know how disrespectful it is and how it makes you feel insecure. If he continues to have wandering eyes after he knows how you feel about it, then maybe you should wonder over to a new boyfriend who respects your feelings.
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